A Poem for My Boy

I sat in carpool today
telling you "I had a crappy day."

You turned down the music to listen,
I was quiet and wanted to hear your music so I could listen.

The lyrics were clear
the song was about pain and how much is there.

A line about a poem the guy would read everyday
that would make it all go away.

"Wish I could write a poem to do that."
How sweet would it be, to have the words for that.

Read a poem everyday to make things better?
Maybe a song, a sonnet or it might just take a letter.

What poem could I write or find that would do it?
Nostalgia set in and I wanted to do it!

So here goes my poem, it's for you, my boy.
It's not a gun, a bike, an electronic device or just any silly toy.

It's from a Mommy's heart,
I wanted to share my part.

My part is...
I tried my best.
I did my best.
I wanted to stay.
I wanted to go.
I wanted to cry, and I did.
I wanted to scream and I did.
I wanted to just be quiet, I hardly ever did.
I wanted the best.
I needed to rest.
I felt so ugly.
I acted so ugly.
I hardly ever felt beautiful.
My actions were beautiful.
You were so beautiful.
My love for you was so beautiful.
The smartest boy, so handsome and coy.
I'm so sorry.
I didn't always know what to do or say.
I always loved you and was there to play.
I'm a good Mommy.
You're a good son.
No magic words.
Just actions and memories to have and to hold.
This poem will not numb the pain
or display the family in a pretty picture frame.
It's just a gesture to say I love you.
Thinking of your pain and how He is so crazy for you.
I did my part.
I am doing my part.
I will keep doing my part.
When you read this,
know this...

The Lord wants to give you a life abundant, apart from evil, guide you to His calling and make you all that you were meant to be.  You are an incredible young man that I am honored to be refered to as

"Jeb's Mom."