Hearts

“Would God not search this out? For He knows the secrets of the heart.” Psalm 44:21

How many wish someone knew how broken their heart was? How many pieces is your heart in right now? Do you feel it is ripped, torn, tattered and bruised? Is there anyone who cares?
There is the child that may not understand all her letters or numbers like the other kindergartners and has changed schools twice this year and it’s only October. Her Mommy has an addiction and her “new” dad doesn’t act much like a dad should.
What about the teenager living in a house worth a half a million dollars, flat screens in every room, drives a brand new BMW and drinks every night alone in his room while he looks on the internet for love?
Maybe that single mom raising kids, working full time, having to make choices about whether to eat or pay the heating bill.
Who is sleeping in their car? A mom, a teenager, a dad, a son, a daughter, a baby, your niece, your sister, you?

The Lord knows the secrets of our heart.

He knows how upset you are about your boyfriend spreading those awful lies about you because you set a boundary.
He knows how hard it was for you to leave after he hit you.
He knows that you have a difficult time with that verse about feeding the sparrows you learned in Sunday school when you get your meal out of a dumpster behind that Mom and Pop diner.
He understands the pain you are in when you just can’t say no to the addiction and you want to so bad!

I don’t know the details of who He might bring into your life. I don’t know how He is going to take each piece of your shattered heart and take His super glue and put it all back together again. I don’t know how He wraps your heart in His hands and watches it beat again.

I imagine He puts it in a red velvet box and wraps it with the prettiest bow you have ever seen. He makes it new and gives it back to you.
He just asks that you guard it and keep it protected. Don’t just give it to anyone, choose wisely.

Maybe you should just give it back to Him…

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart…”
Proverbs 3:5 a

Cracker Barrel

“I’ll meet you at exit 172, there’s a Cracker Barrel, there,” and with that I hung up the phone. It had been a long 3 hour trip, but the kids were overflowing with excitement. It was during the holidays and this year they were bittersweet. We had just moved 3 hours away from our dream house on 2 acres and from friends and a town we had fallen in love with just a short 3 ½ years earlier. Anyway, we were meeting my oldest daughter’s best friend at the Cracker Barrel. She was coming to spend 4 days with us…everyone was excited, even me.

I am sure we were quite loud. I had taken the 2 little ones to the “potty,” and my son, other 2 daughters and Tori were all in the gift section of Cracker Barrel with Tori’s dad. We said our hello’s and goodbye’s and I was left alone with 6 kids, ages 3 to 13! No wonder every eye in the restaurant was upon us!

We were seated, got a booster seat with a buckle (a requirement) and ordered our drinks. People were still staring. I was beginning to feel somewhat annoyed. This is really not a horse and pony show folks!

My son, who isn’t always the most contentious type, pulled out his chair and it sort of went on the gentlemen’s foot. My son was polite, apologized and sat down. Accidents do happen.
This couple, the man with the injured foot and his wife with the laser beam eyes, were starting to take the noise at our table quite personally.

Now being the protective, don’t mess with my kids type of mom I started to get a little hot under the collar. At that very moment, though, I reflected on a past sermon. It was a particular story that touched me…you’ll have to wait for that one! Anyway, the Holy Spirit nudged me and I thought back to my days without children and my personal struggle with infertility. I thought, maybe they are annoyed because we are happy and my quiver is full and their’s is empty. Maybe, they just lost a loved one, my mind just kept coming up with scenario’s that might have left them bitter from life’s circumstances. Plus, going over there and chewing them both out would not have been a real mature example for my kids.

I summoned for our waitress, who was their waitress. I asked for their bill and asked her not to say anything about who paid it. I removed myself from the table, went and paid the check, I even left a tip. I came back to the table and told the kids. And added a big, “SHHHH! Don’t look!”
The table with the foot injury and laser eyes suddenly softened. Painful grimaces were replaced with 2 wide smiles. They looked around to try to find the payee…not telling. They inquired of the waitress again, nothing. Soon, the couple was holding hands.

My kids will never forget that story, I bet the couple won’t, nor the waitress! I had a choice that evening, and I have to say, I am glad I made the right one! Thank You Jesus!

Toddler Socks

I went shopping last night…all alone. Now, don’t go feeling sorry for me. It was quite a treat for me, mom with 5 kids! I listened to Christmas songs, looked at gorgeous decorations, viewed elaborate window displays, saw spectacular yards lighted up like Disney World, and even caught a glimpse of the Christmas boat parade when leaving the mall! It was satisfying, quiet, and peaceful, yet, a weird sense of unfamiliarity… I am never alone without my children!
With all this “quiet time” I was able to hear myself think. The mall seemed quiet for this time of the year. Everyone seemed to themselves, concerned enough with their own thoughts and preoccupations. In Gap Kids, an angry mom was returning a pair of socks, too small for her toddler. The socks had been washed and even with the receipt, and a very insistent mommy, the sales clerk was not budging on this return. They were face to face and “Mommy Dearest” was now beside the register in a sock tug of war.
I was busy finding p.j. sizes for a 10 year Christmas tradition with my best friend. (We get all 9 of our children matching p.j.’s every year!) This task can be quite daunting with children ranging in ages 4 to 18 at present! I had lucked upon the cutest pajama pants…red with black Scottie dogs! All I needed was 1 more size for the 4 year old and I was inquiring at the counter.
All my purchases were awaiting the total when I went back to check a size…”Entitled Mom” came and put 6 pair of toddler socks in front of my pile of goodies! Folks, this wasn’t “Return Mom,” this was a different mom in the same store with toddler socks! What’s the deal with toddler socks?
I do not believe in coincidences and this was not a coincidence.
There must be a message here for me in the toddler socks.
What is the Lord trying to say through 2 upset and distressed moms and 7 pair of toddler socks? There had to be a message.
Socks. Socks are basic needs. Socks for moms can even be a chaotic nightmare! Have you ever been responsible for laundering 49 pair of socks per week (that’s 78 individual socks), with sizes ranging from newborn to adult size 10 with every range between? (Now you see my primary reason for desiring year round flip-flop usage…it eliminates washing and drying and pairing 312 socks per month!) Socks also are a warm, cozy, simple pleasure in life. And personally, as a mom who has experienced labor and delivery 5 times… one of the hospital essentials is a brand new pair of socks! And for those parents that have “tag and seam sensitive” kids… again, the right brand and thickness of socks will either promote or hinder the morning routine.
Okay, so, what is the hidden message in toddler socks and harried moms?
Could the message be not to get unusually upset with the everyday necessaries in life to the point of developing an ulcer? Is it that we all need a laundry plan for our socks? Maybe, it’s that we all have a common bond…SOCKS…“we put them on 1 sock at a time..” Although, with toddler socks it can be more like a new Olympic event to get the socks matching and completely on the child within a reasonable time. Maybe it’s to appreciate those “terrific two’s…” I have a cousin I have been waiting to give a new pair of socks to for 3 years. She has had 3 miscarriages and I am sure she would love to wrangle with a toddler, purchase toddler socks, or even get toddler socks for a gift!
Lord, am I getting the toddler sock message?
What about those kids that have no socks? Maybe, holes in their socks, or not enough socks, socks that are too small, no-one to wash their socks, no-one to buy their socks, no-one to even care about their socks.
What about women who desperately want to be able to purchase a pair of socks and can not? Cannot because they have to choose between clothing and food. Cannot because they can’t get pregnant, have waited years on an adoption list, have lost their child to cancer or drug use or custody battles.

What about the moms that were buying the socks. They have money to buy designer socks. But they are angry and wounded and have lost the peace that can not even be enjoyed at this Christmas season. They may have money and prestige but no mood or peace. Their hearts are cold and hard like the “Grinch” with a heart that had grown 2 sizes too small.
Two sizes too small. That reminds me of the original scene last night at the mall. The mom returning the toddler socks that were too small.
I am not sure who won the exchange. Maybe the store clerk grew her heart 2 sizes too large and let the mom get a new pair. Maybe the mom walked away never to return to “Gap Kids.” I will not know the answer until heaven’s gate I enter.
I think I know the Lord’s message.
God will always let us make an exchange. Even if the merchandise has been washed and worn, shrunk or torn. He’s in the business of meeting our basic needs and growing our hearts 2 sizes just right. Returns need no receipt, no warranty, no extended purchase agreement, no 30 day policy or these parts not included. All we do is show up and ask.
The next time you see a pair of socks, wash a pair of socks, or have a missing sock; pray for the person wearing that sock or laundering that sock. Pray for kids without socks and moms and dads without socks to give. Maybe put socks on your Christmas list and include a prayer. I think we can all look at socks in a new way and remember the Lord’s message about “Toddler Socks.”
Merry Christmas and may your socks be hung on the chimney with PRAYER .

Paper Angels

In Isaiah 45:13 it says, “All your children shall be taught by the LORD, and great shall be the peace of your children.” I can’t think of a better way to get to that peace than by providing our children the basics. Every year there are thousands of children taken from moms and dads and put into the “system.” Kids need families not “systems.”

I happened on a tv show this summer entitled “Faith and Fame.” It is there that I witnessed the gut wrenching, yet inspirational rags to riches story of Jimmy Wayne. Now I knew who Jimmy Wayne was from country radio and also from having his first cd. I loved the song “Paper Angels.” What I did not know was his story. Wow, what a story. I have been quite dedicated to finding out every bit of information regarding that story since watching that episode of “Faith and Fame.”

I have my own story, too. I have been a victim of domestic violence and am in the middle of leaving that 17 year marriage. I have 5 kids and we have literally been penniless, homeless, stalked, harassed and put through the “system,” too . My story is happening every 9 seconds. My husband makes a 6 figure income, we have 2 houses in 2 different states, he drives a Bmw and is a high powered executive. Since leaving, I have had to work for the first time in 8 years, apply for food stamps, live in my parent’s 2 bedroom condo without any of our stuff, enroll the kids in a new school once again, change my phone# 3 times and say goodbye to my son who lives with my soon to be ex because there are no rules or boundaries at his house. (and that is just the tip of the iceburg.)

Paper Angels represent children who are in need. As a family we have always supported the Angel Tree each Christmas. There are so many of our children in need. My children are in need. Your children are in need. Our children are in need.
The tree seems bigger this year.

Let us bring peace to our children. Let us meet their basic needs. Let us gather together to help our widows and orphans. Let us see a paper angel and hold it in our hands. Paper angels were never meant to stay on the tree, they were meant to fly.