I have this image in my head, of a robe.
We have been privileged to stay, too many times to count, at a very posh hotel in Florida. It is called The Jupiter Beach Resort. Very nice. Marble in the bathroom, luxurious bedding, over sized furniture, superb pampering and the whitest, softest, most glamorous robe hanging on the back of the bathroom door. That image to me says privilege. I am not sure why, but it does. It seems extravagant and luscious and delightful, a bit spoiled.
Luke 15:22-24 “But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet. And bring the fatted calf here and kill it, and let us eat and be merry: for this my son was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ and they began to be merry,”
Have you ever seen those Intervention shows about addictions? They are pretty intense. I don’t remember any scenes that read like that Bible verse. We tend to view rebellion in 2 extreme ways. A type of Tough Love, which really has translated to mean and condemning, or Co-dependant Enabling. Neither choice is good.
Mean and Condemning might read like this:
…But the dad said to his wife, “Bring the bank statements, where I can add up all he owes me for the last 18 stinking years! Bring those filthy, smoke filled clothes out of his closet that he left the last time he spent the night here because he was so wasted he couldn’t drive. Oh, yea, honey, his flip flops are in my trunk by the gas tank. Remember when I had to go fill his tank up when he ran out of gas on that old dead end road at 1 in the morning? You can look in the refrigerator for some leftovers, me and the misses are going to Olive Garden, we get a senior discount on Tuesdays. You can sleep on the couch tonight but you have to be gone by morning! You will never quit this nonsense and me and your mother wash our hands of it!”
Co-dependent Enabler might say:
“Sweet heart, I know it is hard for you. I will go pay all those bad checks. They don’t understand how desperate and sick you were. I will then call Daddy and have him go down and talk to Mr. Bank President to see about letting all this slide. We have been loyal customers for 25 years. I have all your clothes ironed and color coded in your old room. It looks just like it did in high school. Remember when you made that touchdown in 88? You had such the flu the next morning. You got sick awfully fast dear. And Mommy will put a roast in the oven with yeast rolls and I made you a chocolate cake, your favorite. Now, go lay down, you must be exhausted from your little experience downtown today.”
We may laugh at the absurdity. If we examine our hearts, however, it’s reality for a lot of us, either personally or in our families.
What would Jesus’ response be?
Bring the best robe…
Therefore now there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus…
I believe in true Tough Love, Interventions and Boundaries with Accountability. I believe Jesus provided us His example for all of these. I just think we err on the side of one extreme or the other most of the time.
I can’t give you the words to say or the actions to take for your situation. Only Jesus can do that. He is the One who knows a repentant heart from a foolish heart. He knows when to throw a party to celebrate true recovery or whether to keep the doors closed and the wallets zipped.
No man can know without the guidance of the One who searches our hearts.
I do know the model in the Prodigal son is the example He shows us.
I see a model of
forgiveness,
mercy,
grace,
love,
and
compassion.
We can’t get or give those on our own.
We have to get those from the same person the woman at the well got hers from.
His name was and is JESUS.
I struggle with this model everyday. I think we all do. It’s just the right balance. We can not get it right on our own. It’s like those gourmet chefs that cook without measuring. A dash of this, a sprinkle of that…
How do they know? They just know. We don’t just know. We know the One who does know!
So, the next time you discipline an unruly child, make a rather weighty decision regarding a family member or look on at a stressed out mom with a freaked out toddler or teenager, grab that image…
The Robe.
